EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HETALIA!
by Strikey-Chan
Summary: Watch (more like read) as characters from all Hetalia fandom come and battle through rapping! See who gets p'wned, and see who owns it all! Rap battle of today: Italy Bros VS. FACE Bros!
1. Japan VS America

**This was purely inspired from Epic Rap Battles Of History. I do not own the idea. Also, thank you to Yukina Mizuki and her awesome bro for the inspiration.**

**I like Asakiku and Ameripan. Then I was like 'screw it. Alfred VS. Kiku it is.**

**Enjoy. Feel free to request.**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HETALIA!**

**JAPAN!**

**VS.**

**AMERICA!**

**BEGIN!**

* * *

**America:  
**

Oh, what's this? You look like a nerd!

I bet your country's the one who's bringing all these dirty dirt!

I mean, look at your face, the hell's up with your eyes?

It must take a decade for that kind of hair to dry!

Simply looking at your fangirls make me want to puke!

You and Alice would be nice, if she wasn't taller than you...

**Japan:  
**

Oh, I'm sorry, perhaps were you speaking to me?

I couldn't stand the thought of having you in my family.

Forgive me if I'm rude, but you know, you got me a litle pissed.

For the record, Alice is free to date anyone that she may wish.

Asakiku makes you puke, but I think you're forgetting the others.

My fangirls have taste;

While yours wants you to fuck your own brothers!

**America:**

At least I don't follow Italian and German bastards!

My ears bleed at 'herro'

Your rhymes are so drafted!

So much for the guy that can't handle a hug.

'Ooh, personal space'! You're nothing but a just little rug!

You think you'll win, but you're just dreaming again.

Alice only likes you because she takes care of old men!

I bet you took plastic surgery or something; miracle you're still alive!

Heh; I bet France still remembers you from the years of sixty-five

Alice should ditch you, she should get with me.

I'm a guy all the girls want and all the guys want to be!

**Japan:**

'Otaku' is in my name, so suck it and cry!

You think you're going to win? Are you still drunk and high?

Look around you, bastard, half of your things are made in Asia!

And you don't know how to be grateful? You bratty little _baka_!

Your people are disgusting; Have you seen that Francis, a stripper?

BTW, I made out with Alice last night.

She's one hell of a kisser...

You may have pawned my ass during World War Two

But that doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do!

Maybe when I was younger I was poor, and I had a hard life

But I don't need your permission to give a kiss to my future wife.

I really do hope someday you'd break your toe.

My manners surpassed yours when I was five years old!

* * *

**WHO WON?**

**WHO'S NEXT?  
**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HETALIA!**


	2. Italy Bros VS FACE Bros

**OK, so now I don't have to worrry about not giving credits... Thanks, Yukina and her awesome bro. I was freaking out. XD**

**For today's Rap battle, the guest-of-honors go to...**

**D. P. Master01**

**Alionia**

**Anonymous Guest (The one who suggested Canada.)**

**If you would like to be one of the guest-of-honors for the next chapter, all you have to do is request for the next battle. If I like that request, (even if I don't include it) I'll happily put you on the GOH list. **

**Anyway, enough babbletalk!**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HETALIA!**

**THE ITALY BROTHERS!  
**

**VS.**

**THE FACE BROTHERS!**

**BEGIN!**

* * *

**Italy Bros:**

Italy: The name's Feli~

Romano: And Lovino, motherfuckers!

Italy: Just get back in your bi closet~

Romano: Why don't you make out with each other?!

Both: Just look at you two

Romano: One named Matthew?

Italy: And Alfred~?

Romano: One has a fucked up voice

Italy: And one has no idea where he's headed!

Italy: Your mama don't even love you~

Romano: Plus yo' papa's a creep!

Italy: We're _the_ siblings of Hetalia~

Romano: So why don't you fucking suck it and weep?

* * *

**FACE Bros:**

America: What about you, eh?

Canada: Do I seriously have to do this...?

America: You're just so vulgar!

Canada: And _you're_ always making me pissed...

America: When I bring my knife, you piss while you run -

Canada: Al, that's pretty mean -

America: C'mon, Matt. Don't ruin the fun.

Canada: …

America: Come on. Lets do this properly.

Canada: … Okay...

America: We're the FACE Brothers.

Canada: And there can't be no other

Both: We don't wanna cause trouble!

America: Are you looking for your lover?

Canada: Cause we kicked Spain's ass during 1701

America: How you gonna handle, Lovi?

Canada: 'Cause we're not even done!

Both: Two cowards while one's always ditching

Canada: What the hell?

America: Afraid of Ludwig, but to girls he's always reaching!

Canada: Well, ain't that swell...

America: The siblings of Hetalia?

Canada: Oh, give me a break.

Both: Iggy gave birth to so many babies!

America: You think you'll match up to the love we make?!

Canada: -facepalm-

* * *

**Italy Bros:**

Italy: Ahaha~!

Romano: HOLY SHT, I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!

Italy: We pity your parents~

Romano: When you were little, all you were doing was just crapping!

Italy: Spain and Germany are nice!

Romano: At least better than _your_ lovers...

Italy: What the hell, Canada?

Romano: You're like twenty years his junior!

Both: We're sexy and we know it~

Romano: And you better know it too!

Italy: You're just pathetic~

Romano: Just look at how everyone fucking _treats_ Matthew!

* * *

**FACE Bros:**

America: …

Canada: …

America: … He has a point.

Canada: … Step aside, Alfred.

America: Huh -

* * *

**Canada: (…? O.O)**

You know, it's been too long and I can't take it anymore!

My voice has been ignored for years;

When can I finally settle the score?

I'm so sick of everyone always telling me what to do

Especially you, Alfred

I never really loved you!

My vote never gets counted in meetings

But I know it's not your fault

One day I'll crush your American nuts!

And you'll die without a jolt!

The most emotional person in the world isn't me,

I'll say, and I'll admit

Tossed away, not being cared for

It's all familiar, isn't it?!

But I guess you don't care.

Even the most nicest take the bait.

You laughed with Arthur outside

While I sat in the car and silently wait!

I hope you notice me

All of you, all the nations

Why, even in World War,

I never ever _got_ any rations!

I'll rule the world someday

With a grin up my face!

The world will know me

And Matthew will no longer be a maze!

So, my dearest brother,

Please don't stand there and scoff...

I'll own you, bitch.

It's time for you to fuck off!

* * *

**WHO WON?**

**WHO'S NEXT?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

* * *

**Ok, the original one I had made in school was a little bit depressing... so I changed it a little.**

**What the hell Canada O.O He just turned into a badass...**

**I watched the Wright Bros VS. Mario Bros on Youtube so I got inspired from that one to make this rap battle.**

**Well... I'd better go now. Hope you liked this one. Goodnight!  
**

**Chiao~  
**

**-Strikey**


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